sucked

last friday we went to 5 days off in the paradiso, amsterdam. and ever since i can't get it out of my head why i was so drunk. i know i didn't have much to eat and i know vodka isn't that nice to an empty stomach.. but i've had nights with waaaaay more drinks and was still able to stand up and dance.

most of the evening is lost, i got lost a couple of times.. wandering around alone, then snapping out of it and realizing i was alone, i couldn't dance on my own two feet and had to cling on to mathieu and tobias (i <3 you both for taking care of me), i have bruises everywhere. and really a lot of the night is gone.

it's scary. and this is not an excuse for being so drunk, it's just me wondering what was wrong with me.. i can't stop thinking about it.

i wish i could erase the little memory i have of that night,
i wasn't myself and it sucked.